The Power of Belief
When I was very young, the concept of magic was innate and real to me. I believe that all children come into the world inuitively believing in magic and have the capacity to keep it in their hearts throughout their lives. For me, my belief in many wondrous realities bleeding into this one was supported by my maternal grandfather, and his father before him.
Believing in what is possible despite what seems impossible is not an easy task in this world that is often filled with duality, division, and suffering. Believing in some things can ask us everything we have inside of us and begs us to create a balance between the complicated emotions that arise in our humanness with the spacious light that we infinitely are.
If you’re living with chronic illness, it can be challenging to hold on to the belief that wellness is in the cards for you. Further, if we surround ourselves with those who feed our illness rather than our wellness, it can be harder to hold ourselves in our innate radiance. During the height of my illness, I was told by a physical therapist that I was "truly disabled.” A spiritual teacher replied to my exclamation of wanting to become a shamanic practitioner, “Remember you are disabled.” In both situations, the insinuation was that I should approach my dreams of recovery with a guarded sense of caution or perhaps allow my severe physical limitations at the time to define me.
When I was in a wheelchair and at Nursing Home Level of Care, there was a day that I had two dystonic episodes and one absence seizure in one afternoon. I felt like wild mustang that had finally been broken, panting alone in a pen, and separated from her wild herd. In that space, I realized that if I wanted to live, I had to let go of my old life in order to bring in the one that was awaiting me. I knew that if I held onto my old life too tightly, I might die along with it. Although this seemed impossible to do, given that everything around me that reflected back that I would stay completely dependent on others for the rest of my days or possibly even die, I chose to feed my new life. I had absolutely nothing to lose.
So, I began to let go of everything: the utter misery of my daily life, the story I told myself about being ill, as well as how I had defined myself before I got sick. I even let go of the fight against my illness. As I moved out of the immense grief I carried for the loss of my life when I was well, I slowly and radically began to accept my life in the present. I accepted the wheelchair, the bedside commode, and the caretaker who made daily visits. As I did this, I had to keep an unwavering focus on filling myself with the life force from the new life awaiting me. I also had to strongly envision that life and, without a doubt, believe it was also searching for me.
Beliefs are powerful. When we believe something to be true, we put power into the thought-from that feeds it. We can put power into thoughts to create beautiful things for ourselves, others, and the world we live in. Conversely, we can also choose to put power into beliefs that will not and cannot possibly feed our dreams. As humans, we underestimate how powerful our thoughts are. At the turning point of my illness, I remember saying to someone that I believed in what the ancients could do. That's when things began really shifting. I still believe in my heart of hearts that miracles do happen. It’s really our belief in them that can stop them in their tracks or enable the capacity for alchemization.
One of my most favorite things to teach my shamanic students is the practice of Transfiguration. This ancient esoteric practice helps us remember in our hearts and bodies that we are Light. Our Light is eternal and immutable, no matter what our lives entail. Transfiguration is a practice that is easier than our minds like to make it, because we are just shining effortlessly. Our thinking mind likes to believe it's driving at all times, but when we are just being and shining like the stars do, we don't really need our thinking mind trying to interpret the experience. When we let go of our thinking mind and we dive into our own Light, everything that has consciousness remembers its Light too. This is the place where miracles occur, outside of our logical mind. Healing comes from sitting in our own divinity and our connection with everything created in Light.
What would happen if every one us truly believed this? 🌈
If you believe it’s possible to recover without the shadow of your illness over your life, then I am 100% behind you. In fact, I already believe in you! But you must believe in yourself too. My helping spirits and I can perform all the magical shifting in the Otherworlds and bring it into this one for you, but ultimitely, it’s your task to muster up your belief in your own innate powers. It’s your task to find the hope in your body, and the undying power in your heart and spirit. When you empower yourself like this, you are in a ripe place to break free of the binds of illness and reclaim your life force. My greatest wish for those who struggle with chronic illness is that they start becoming clearer about what they believe is possible and begin feeding that.
It may seem like a the work of a sci-fi fantasy novel, but if you keep actively feeding the vision and the feeling of what your life looks like on the other side of illness, it’s only a matter of time before you step from a fantasy into a non-fiction reality and move into the world of wholeness and radiance.
