The Empowered Feminine
As we enter into the colder months here in the Northern Hemisphere and await the upcoming Winter Solstice, we might notice within ourselves some hesitancy to embrace this darker time of year for a number of reasons. It might be the extreme cold we are preparing for, or thinking about shoveling the snow that comes to our knees here in Maine, USA, or there might be some wariness around the sun setting at 4pm EST.
Wherever you live, it’s common knowledge that for millennia, humans have been resistant to the “dark.” If we look back through history, Winter was a time that challenged the survival of clans and tribes. Our Ancestors had to face their own fear of death and the possibility of not surviving the sharp drops in temperature, the long, cold nights, the challenging modes of travel through snow and ice and the scarcity of food sources. Winter held hard times and potential death for our Ancestors, and that same fear, although a whisper now, is still carried within us.
In some magical traditions, going into the dark (such as a cave, or being buried in the Earth up to the face) was a form of tribal and clan initiation. The initiates in these magical traditions had to face fears that came up around being immersed in the darkness. In most modern spiritual circles, “dark” and “light” have been compared to “yin” and “yang,” so we are left with perceiving the feminine as dark - and this is not always seen with good connotations. Additionally, our modern human minds have compartmentalized dark and light into “black” and “white” boxes that do not seem to overlap. I have been shown in my shamanic practice that as far as embodied humans go, the “dark” is merely power that has not been made conscious, nor has it been realized.
In shamanism, there is a dimension in Non-Ordinary Reality that holds the experience of nothingness, called the Void. Much like sensory deprivation, the Void is dark, with no light, no sound, and yet is potently pregnant with “everything-ness.” The Void is sacred in shamanism, as it is akin to the Womb of the Universe, full of power and potential life-force that has not yet come into manifestation. I personally enjoy spending time there when I am manifesting or when I am seeking clarity on certain issues. So, from this understanding, we might begin to perceive that the unconscious darkness within is much like the Void. When things are potentiated from our own subconscious, it is brought to the conscious light of ourselves. This helps us own and love everything about ourselves and gives “birth” to our lives, much like growing a thriving garden from seed.
There is a lot of talk about the Divine Feminine these days. Yet, the darker aspects of the Divine Femininehave not been fully embraced and still make people uncomfortable - especially women. The Divine Feminine is made of light and dark. The accepted or “light” traits of woman are: nurturing, intuitive, compassionate, receptive, ever-giving, selfless, forgiving (no matter how she has been trespassed), empathetic, sympathetic, feeling, emotional (but not too emotional), graceful, and… pure. The archetypes of this light aspect of the Divine Feminine are: Mother Mary, Mary Magdeline, Gaia, Innana, Aphrodite, Theia, Athena, Artemis, Demeter, Persephone, Hebe, Hera, Hestia, Alethia, Isis, Brigid, Bast, and Hathor, among many others. From this, we might draw a parallel to what is called toxic femininity. These are general traits that women have been molded to become as they have experienced approval for them. These traits are being meek, weak, quiet, yielding, docile, pleasing, biddable, the “damsel in distress,” over-compensating, overly obliging, obedient, and merely a sexual object. There is a lot of work women still must do in order to break free of toxic femininity. Hiding from our empowered, transformative feminine self has disconnected us from our true power as well as the power of our sisters.
Conversely, the “dark” traits of the Divine Feminine are: passionate, creative, confident and unashamed of her sexuality, authentic, fearless, fierce, unafraid of her own anger (and being able to express it in healthy ways), intuitive, powerful, and transformational. She honors her needs and values and speaks kindly but clearly, despite the response from others. She creates healthy boundaries for herself. The dark archetypes of the Divine Feminine are: Kali, Lilith, Hecate, Hel, Baba Yaga, Sekhmet, Anat, the Mórrígan, Tiamet, Eris, and Sekhmet, to list just a few. These archetypes are misunderstood due to fear of the Empowered Feminine. Much of the mythology surrounding these archetypes and goddesses illustrates breaking free of feminine roles and recreating herself from a path of destruction and rebirth.
The Dark Feminine (or perhaps we might call her the Empowered Feminine) embodies traits that might not even be that “dark” at all but have been labeled that way in order to take away feminine power. We must remember: women were warriors in certain ancient societies. They were seen as equals to men in many respects.
For centuries, women have been taught that expressing anger is inappropriate and even shameful. When they do express it, it might be dismissed, diminished, invalidated and essentially not respected. Further, women have been shamed when they express their fully empowered, healthy sexuality. Women have every right to be angry about not being supported in expressing or exploring the full range of themselves. They are taught that individual worth is tied to how they appear. They must be pretty - but not too pretty or they will threaten other women. They can’t be too sexy or risk being labeled a “whore,” but not so pure as to not attract a mate. These conflicting messages are confusing! Women are groomed from a young age that it is their responsibility to please people around them while sacrificing their own needs. It seems like it’s everyone’s needs before hers. Ancestrally, this is what women have been up against for centuries.
The Empowered Feminine contains the necessary energy to create destruction and death, which then brings about fierce compassion, sacred rage, unabashed sexuality, spiritual ecstasy - all leading to her rebirth. These are the full spectrum of feminine powers that have been suppressed for centuries because the patriarchy has been threatened by the different kind of power a woman holds.
The Wounded Feminine archetype comes in two forms: 1) a woman who completely suppresses her “dark” or unconscious feminine energy and 2) a women who is completely controlled by it. Women must each come to a place to hold space for and make friends with their traumas, their shame, their self-doubt, their rage, their grief and anguish, and other repressed emotions and desires that have been buried into the unconscious because they have not been welcomed by mainstream society. Women must also take responsibility in order to become the balanced, self-realized sovereigns that they were meant to be.
These are some ways the Empowered Feminine is still being repressed:
not being fully seen and heard
acquiescing when someone is not respecting her needs
not supported when setting up healthy boundaries
being given the message that strong women are negative
if a woman has no children and/or is not married, she is given the message that she is either selfish or an “old maid.” (One would think this doesn’t occur anymore, but I personally was actually called an “old maid” a few years ago by an older woman!).
If a woman has a high-powered career as well as a family, she must be self-centered
Still, the stay-at-home mom still not enough and is not recognized as having a “job.”
Women are never “enough.” They are not thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough, etc. And if they are, then they are “too much.”
Coming into their moon cycles is not viewed as a positive moment in a young woman’s life, and this can taint the relationship a woman has with her body as she comes into womanhood and lives out her life.
Older women are not honored. They are given adulates when they look “young” but are disapproved of as they age. They are not supported in embracing menopause or “croning” and the other rites of passage of a woman’s life. Essentially, the powerful initiations of womanhood from menses to menopause have been taken away.
The Empowered Feminine energy supports other women in healing her wounded feminine by rising up and declaring her sovereignty, which includes having the courage to uphold boundaries, to honor and be present with her feelings, and state her needs. The Empowered Feminine becomes a great transmuter, an alchemist, and an agent of radical change. This is a part of the Divine Feminine energy that is a catalyst to transforming our own supplanted selves into the light, into deep wisdom and growth. It is potent magic!
The human phrase “dark feminine” is not truly dark, it is much like the Void, which is a place of nothingness and filled with the power of the Universe that has not yet manifested. If we broke it down through the human lens, one might come to understand the Void is a very feminine place. When we say, “feminine” your human world view triggers a different meaning. Looking through our lens, the word “feminine” encompasses the light and dark and all colors in between. The “dark” is the subconscious which has not yet been allowed to come into consciousness due to social conditioning that informs you of what is acceptable and lovable.. and what is thought to be shameful. In your world, a woman who displays the same characteristics of men is seen as threatening, and labels are placed on the individual to disempower her. In the Void, there is great power in stillness, in presence, in rest, in creating new fertile soil to dreaming up new life. “New life” can come from the destruction of the old. We are not merely speaking of giving birth, although that is a power that is coveted by humanity, and yet at the same time dismissed. The potent power of the feminine lies in the magic of going into the unknown for a small death, then to bring about transformation and new life from that destruction. Indeed the transformative process of the feminine is “dark” because humanity fails to delve into their own Void due to fear of feminine power. What you see as dark is only your projection of fear. In the lives of the animals, a female lion is not judged for being “bad” or “less than” because she is grieving the loss of her cub, or that she has taken down a large beast, or that she stands up to a male lion attempting to take over her pride. And yet, these fierce actions, when taken on by a female human, are seen as “unfeminine,” “aggressive,” “unladylike” or any other label that denotes negativity which takes away the power of the feminine.
~ the helping spirits
Embracing the Empowered Feminine is a deep, personal journey of exploring one’s inner landscape and learning to step into the full expression of the true self by honoring all the parts of oneself - the light, dark and everything in between. Most importantly, this power is available no matter what gender one is identified with. There are no roadmaps or molds for this! This is embodying the Feminine in a full way, and isn’t just loving parts of ourselves that have been groomed or have been given positive reinforcement by our society. A full, potentiated empowerment encompasses both the light and dark - and all the colors in between! We get to choose and create how we show up in a more embodied way in this world!
As the Womb of Winter approaches this season, what new growth do you want to manifest in your own inner Void to bring about in your proverbial Springtime?
